Monday, March 23, 2009

Which way is up?

Behold: The Two-Tier Toilet.

I recently encountered this revelation in an East Side coffee shop. The company that owns this shop takes great pride in touting its environmental ethic. Good for it - environmentalism works best when coupled with sound economics.

Back to the toilet. Please note that the name I tagged it with has nothing to do with the height of the unit. It doesn't refer to some strange configuration that has one part stacked atop another. And, it most certainly doesn't relate to any design that would be preferred by someone like Larry Craig (he of the "wide stance" - remember?)

No, this one is much simpler. Ready?

Up for liquid wastes. Down for solid wastes. It's what the sign reads.

The toilet had a flush lever at its rear (no pun intended) like many commonly found in public restrooms. Most of the time you just reflexively push it down - it's what the design seems to dictate. Now, when encountering a Two-Tier Toilet, you need to think about it.

The design focuses on saving water. Clearly it takes less water to flush when the bowl liquid is merely stained a different color. Some hardcore "greenies" will insist that one shouldn't even flush at all in this scenario.

More water is needed for, as a business contact called it, "the big flush." Never heard any arguments against that one.

The intentions of the Two-Tier Toilet are good. We should strive to use water wisely. Here in the Midwest, living alongside the largest freshwater source in the world (the Great Lakes), we are far too cavalier about water use. It's easy to forget that many parts of the U.S. suffer long droughts with regularity.

On an international scale, many futurists have predicted that wars will eventually be fought not over oil, but over water. People can live to a certain extent without oil. People can't live without water.

So maybe the Two-Tier Toilet is onto something. Maybe this design - and its accompanying explanatory signs - will soon appear in other places besides this particular coffee shop. It can be a conversation starter if nothing else.

But here's where the Two-Tier Toilet falls short. It doesn't account for human curiousity. You see, I had to know the difference between the water levels in the two flushes. So I flushed it first up, and then again down. In the process, I used twice as much water as needed and completely obviated the admirable goal of the Two-Tier Toilet. And I doubt I'm the only one to do this.

Like most guys faced with this particular toilet design - i.e., a flush lever - I used my foot to initiate the flush. Touch it with a hand? Surely you jest. That would require a twice-as-long period for the obligatory washing afterward. We don't want to waste water, do we?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Read if you can stomach it

Here's where you can access the 353-page contract for Wisconsin state workers represented by AFSCME, the nation's largest public employees union.

If you want to hit a few of the high (low?) points, go to page 60 and learn how employees are granted "reasonable and adequate personal wash-up time" prior to meal breaks and at the end of a shift. Obviously this has to be a bargained issue because we can't expect competent workers to do this in a discretionary time frame, nor their supervisors to allow them to do so.

Skip a bit further down the page and learn how, if employees are called back to work after leaving or asked to come in on a day off, they are guaranteed a minimum of 2-1/2 hours of pay or four hours of work with pay. This means that, if an employee is called into work on their day off to locate a file, for example, they get paid for 2-1/2 hours even if the task takes only five minutes. Where else in the world does this occur? If your boss calls you into work on an off-day, what else do you get besides a "thanks" and pay for your actual time worked?

Heard enough? Of course not. Let's go to page 171, where the "Employee Benefits" section starts. Here's where you'll see how state AFSCME employees can get family health insurance coverage for as little as $78 a month in premium sharing!

Don't run away just yet - we still have the "Sick Leave" section, which starts on page 173. Here's where you'll learn how unused sick leave is accrued throughout an employee's career. When they retire, the accrued amount is converted to an account that is used to pay for continuing health insurance coverage! Obviously the term COBRA - well-known to private-sector workers in this hard-hitting recession - is not in the state employees' vernacular.

There's a lot more to be explored here, but be warned: Do so at the risk of your head exploding. And unless you have state employee health insurance coverage, that could be a real problem.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Good work (if you can get it)

"Well I lost my job down at the factory, lost my money in the lottery"
- The BoDeans

During his two failed runs for the U.S. Presidency, former North Carolina Senator John Edwards liked to talk about the "two Americas" that he claimed existed.

The difference, he believed, was between wealthy and non-wealthy citizens. It was a key element of a very populist message that resonated with many voters.

Of course, that was before Sen. Clean Cut got caught sneaking out of his mistress's hotel room, by the National Enquirer no less. Yes, the same publication that unearthed Gennifer Flowers in the early days of Bill Clinton's first presidential campaign. Obviously, one politician survived his scandal quite headily while the other hasn't been heard from since.

But Sen. Edwards was onto something, although not in the way he intended. There are indeed "two Americas" emerging.

In a time of economic upheaval not experienced for seven decades, jobs are dropping like flies and people's investment accounts are shrinking with heart-dropping speed. No one feels safe from the layoff axe - unless they work for the government, that is.

Faced with a $5+billion budget deficit, Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle announced that he has no plans to lay off or furlough state workers. Huh? Any economics simpleton knows that personnel costs are the biggest part of any business or government operating budget. Cutting personnel is the quickest way to reduce expenses. That's why businesses are shedding jobs left and right as they react to reduced income from a stalled economy.

State government, though, is not run anything like a business, as the Governor's proclamation once again illustrates. Unless jobs are reduced, the state budget deficit can only be eliminated by wholesale program cuts or tax increases. You get one guess as to which the Democratic governor will choose. He has shown his priorities, and top among them is protecting state employees.

The "two Americas," in case you haven't figured it out by now, is very simple: Those who work in the public sector and the rest of us. The first group has unparalleled job security, gold-plated benefits and - you thought these were extinct? - pensions! Oh, and did I mention that often they can retire as early as 50?

The rest of us? We get job security fears, ever-increasing benefit costs and retirement plans that we have to pay for. The balance in those retirement accounts ain't what it used to be, either.

Need more? The Elmbrook School District really bit the bullet recently. Wow. Such courage. It agreed to a two-year contract with its administrators that will increase the employees' share of health and dental insurance premiums from 3 to 5 percent! Oh my heavens! How ever will the employees afford this? And this is if they participate in a wellness program. If they don't partake of the program they have to pay - are you sitting down? - 10 percent of the premiums! The horror of it all!

The sarcasm is intended. Here's where it gets worse - the administrators also got a 4.1 percent salary increase! On average, that's an additional $3,500 a year!

I know what you're thinking: Where do I sign up? Because at a time when many private sector workers are getting minimal (if any) raises, these public employees keep cashing bigger paychecks. Yes, maybe they are paying slightly higher benefit costs, but don't forget that health insurance premium shares are usually pre-tax paycheck reductions, limiting their impact on net pay. In the case of the Elmbrook administrators, they likely broke even if not came out ahead financially.

If it all seems a bit galling, that's only because it is. Obviously employees are needed to run government operations - that's not the issue. There are many hard-working public-sector employees who earn an honest living.

But their pay and benefit packages are ultimately approved by elected officials. So at a time when so many workers are suffering financially, is it too much to expect our "leaders" to ask this segment of the working public to make a sacrifice? After all, they're paid from taxes, which are an unavoidable financial drain on every working citizen!

Don't hold your breath for it to happen. Government employment is an insular operation usually protected by unions, job rules and politicians that want the employees' votes.

Don't believe me? Check out how many of the approximately 67,000 state workers are represented by AFSCME, the biggest public employees union. Any doubt that Gov. Doyle wants to stay on their good side?

But then again, we know which of the "two Americas" he lives in.