Memorial musings

Memorial Day is humbling, to say the least.

First, a full admission - I have never served in the military, nor had a family member killed or wounded in combat. It's this "distance" from the realities of war that, for many people, might make Memorial Day just another extended weekend.

It's hard to believe that anyone can be so blissfully ignorant, with our service men and women fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan (and serving in peacetime outposts in far-flung places such as South Korea and the Balkans). Yet, in a day and age when an amazing number of people can recite every "American Idol" development but are dumbfounded when asked to name their Congressman, perhaps it's not so surprising.

This blindedness to the importance of Memorial Day is probably due to current events. Let's face it - Iraq has largely fallen off the daily news headlines, a positive development due to the great drop in American casualties. Afghanistan is a powder keg intertwined with developments in Pakistan, a conflict that could blow up any moment and holds the very real risk of nuclear weapons falling into terrorists' hands. Yet it hasn't received the attention it really deserves and, if it did, who knows if most Americans would really notice? After all, it's been 8-1/2 years since 9/11. A false sense of security has probably been lulled into folks.

Back to Memorial Day. It's extremely humbling to consider the number of Americans who fought, suffered and often died horrific deaths so that we could, for example, freely write blogs. Can you imagine the cold, hard fear in the guts of soldiers riding landing craft onto the beaches at Normandy? Or charging across open fields toward fortified enemies in the Civil War? Or facing off against the better-armed and better-trained British in the Revolutionary War?

Maybe we can imagine, but can't relate, because we've never been there. That's easy enough to understand. But here's what brings it home for me.

Our neighbor's son is in Iraq. It's his second tour there. He's the nicest guy, always smiling and glad to see you. He's a full-time National Guardsman. He joined the service after 9/11 to make a difference.

And he has. I think of him every day over there. It's given me a much more personal, emotional tie to military personnel and their often hazardous jobs.

The emotional carnage that his family would undergo, should something happen to him, is indescribable. Even now, when I ask his father how he's doing, I catch the hitch in his speech and distant look in his eyes. Every day must be a 24-hour stress fest, fearing a phone call that no parent ever wants to get.

I'll never forget one experience of a soldier returning home. The son-in-law of some friends from church served in Iraq shortly after the 2003 invasion. He's also a good guy, someone I've played alongside with in softball and volleyball.

We were at a church event, and I looked across at the next table, and - could it be? - there he was. He was home from Iraq on leave. It was like seeing a ghost, only from the sense of disbelief. Nancy and I were filled with joy and rushed over to greet him. It was indescribable, the mix of happiness and relief to see that he was actually back, and unharmed, and seemingly the same as before.

It was the same feeling when our neighbor's son came back from his first tour in Iraq. He was as happy and smiling as ever, even though he acknowledged that, yes, he likely would be sent back for another tour. But for the moment, all was well. I could have talked to him for hours.

I'm sure there are millions of others across our land who feel the same way about someone they know. We all want that opportunity, just to see that person(s) alive and well again. It might not seem like much to ask. But it is. And on Memorial Day, that sense of need - and humility - is reinforced like never before.

A turn for the worse

Everyone has a fist-shaking moment now and then. Many undoubtedly occur on the road. Speaking of which, there's one particular inspiration that seems to be on the rise.

Let's set the picture. Maybe you've experienced this recently while driving. Here goes: "Why is this guy ahead of me slowing down? What's he doing? There's no one in front of him! He's almost at a complete stop! What the heck? What the - he's turning? Where's your signal, moron (or harsher name)? Thanks for letting me know, you idiot (or, once again, perhaps a harsher name)!"

You get the idea. The vehicle ahead of you slowed down for no apparent reason, then suddenly turned without signaling. It's irritating. It's discourteous. It's unsafe. And, based purely on personal observation, it seems to have increased by about 50 percent in recent years.

What's the cause?

Or maybe the better question is: Where to start?

Let's take the easy one first. Cell phones are an obvious culprit. We won't even get into the other obvious dangers of yakking on a cell phone while driving. Suffice to say, though, that the meteoric increase in cell phone usage seems to have directly coincided with the decrease in turn signal usage.

Obviously, if you have a phone in one hand, and the steering wheel in the other, the turn signal lever is odd implement out. If both hands are already busy, the signal won't be turned on. Even the most dramatic leaps in genetic engineering haven't solved that one.

Another explanation - and this is much harder to pinpoint, although there was a very interesting story on msn.com recently (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30312181/) - is the apparent rise in narcissism, especially among the younger set. This goes back to the (dis)courtesy thing. When you're certain that the world revolves around you, there's no need to concern oneself about inconveniencing others, such as making them wonder why you're suddenly slowing down for no obvious reason. Whatsa matter? Don't they know who you are?

Yet another possible reason - and I swear, this is again based solely on personal observation - is that people are just getting dumber, period. Have you ever known anyone who, after a while, leaves you wondering how they get through the day? People who fit the Wikipedia definition of "airhead?" People who just don't have their minds in the present place and present tense?

Given this state, can we reasonably expect such people to signal their driving intentions more than a split-second before carrying them out? My, how cold, callous, cruel and, dare I say it, judgmental. But I'll bet these people know who got booted out of "American Idol" last night!

Finally, you've heard some societal observers write about the "coarsening" of our human-to-human interaction. Maybe some drivers don't signal their turns because they just don't care. You, and anyone else in your vehicle, don't matter. Courtesy is something left to others. To heck with the rest of the world - I've got mine, so leave me alone. If you don't like it, then sc... you.

What to do? The old maxim about "drive defensively" comes to mind. That's probably good advice no matter the circumstances. If you don't know what the guy ahead of you is doing, give him safe distance to do it.

Here's an ironic twist. I recall a comedian long ago making a joke about cars designed for senior citizens. One feature he mentioned is that the vehicles' turn signals would be permanently turned on, a reference to vehicles driving down the highway with their drivers oblivious to a blinking signal. It was actually pretty darn funny.

Now, though, you have to wonder if maybe these older drivers couldn't teach the younger ones a thing or two. It seems that an awful lot of the non-signaling drivers out there are age 30 and younger. Don't they teach this in driver's ed any more? Regardless, can't you see a senior raising his gnarled fist and shaking it at the punk who just suddenly turned in front of him, all the while saying "Why, you young whippersnapper ..."

But for the sake of road peace everywhere, just be sure to keep all fingers clenched in the fist while shaking it. No single-digit extensions, OK?

Which way is up?

Behold: The Two-Tier Toilet.

I recently encountered this revelation in an East Side coffee shop. The company that owns this shop takes great pride in touting its environmental ethic. Good for it - environmentalism works best when coupled with sound economics.

Back to the toilet. Please note that the name I tagged it with has nothing to do with the height of the unit. It doesn't refer to some strange configuration that has one part stacked atop another. And, it most certainly doesn't relate to any design that would be preferred by someone like Larry Craig (he of the "wide stance" - remember?)

No, this one is much simpler. Ready?

Up for liquid wastes. Down for solid wastes. It's what the sign reads.

The toilet had a flush lever at its rear (no pun intended) like many commonly found in public restrooms. Most of the time you just reflexively push it down - it's what the design seems to dictate. Now, when encountering a Two-Tier Toilet, you need to think about it.

The design focuses on saving water. Clearly it takes less water to flush when the bowl liquid is merely stained a different color. Some hardcore "greenies" will insist that one shouldn't even flush at all in this scenario.

More water is needed for, as a business contact called it, "the big flush." Never heard any arguments against that one.

The intentions of the Two-Tier Toilet are good. We should strive to use water wisely. Here in the Midwest, living alongside the largest freshwater source in the world (the Great Lakes), we are far too cavalier about water use. It's easy to forget that many parts of the U.S. suffer long droughts with regularity.

On an international scale, many futurists have predicted that wars will eventually be fought not over oil, but over water. People can live to a certain extent without oil. People can't live without water.

So maybe the Two-Tier Toilet is onto something. Maybe this design - and its accompanying explanatory signs - will soon appear in other places besides this particular coffee shop. It can be a conversation starter if nothing else.

But here's where the Two-Tier Toilet falls short. It doesn't account for human curiousity. You see, I had to know the difference between the water levels in the two flushes. So I flushed it first up, and then again down. In the process, I used twice as much water as needed and completely obviated the admirable goal of the Two-Tier Toilet. And I doubt I'm the only one to do this.

Like most guys faced with this particular toilet design - i.e., a flush lever - I used my foot to initiate the flush. Touch it with a hand? Surely you jest. That would require a twice-as-long period for the obligatory washing afterward. We don't want to waste water, do we?

Read if you can stomach it

Here's where you can access the 353-page contract for Wisconsin state workers represented by AFSCME, the nation's largest public employees union.

If you want to hit a few of the high (low?) points, go to page 60 and learn how employees are granted "reasonable and adequate personal wash-up time" prior to meal breaks and at the end of a shift. Obviously this has to be a bargained issue because we can't expect competent workers to do this in a discretionary time frame, nor their supervisors to allow them to do so.

Skip a bit further down the page and learn how, if employees are called back to work after leaving or asked to come in on a day off, they are guaranteed a minimum of 2-1/2 hours of pay or four hours of work with pay. This means that, if an employee is called into work on their day off to locate a file, for example, they get paid for 2-1/2 hours even if the task takes only five minutes. Where else in the world does this occur? If your boss calls you into work on an off-day, what else do you get besides a "thanks" and pay for your actual time worked?

Heard enough? Of course not. Let's go to page 171, where the "Employee Benefits" section starts. Here's where you'll see how state AFSCME employees can get family health insurance coverage for as little as $78 a month in premium sharing!

Don't run away just yet - we still have the "Sick Leave" section, which starts on page 173. Here's where you'll learn how unused sick leave is accrued throughout an employee's career. When they retire, the accrued amount is converted to an account that is used to pay for continuing health insurance coverage! Obviously the term COBRA - well-known to private-sector workers in this hard-hitting recession - is not in the state employees' vernacular.

There's a lot more to be explored here, but be warned: Do so at the risk of your head exploding. And unless you have state employee health insurance coverage, that could be a real problem.

Good work (if you can get it)

"Well I lost my job down at the factory, lost my money in the lottery"
- The BoDeans

During his two failed runs for the U.S. Presidency, former North Carolina Senator John Edwards liked to talk about the "two Americas" that he claimed existed.

The difference, he believed, was between wealthy and non-wealthy citizens. It was a key element of a very populist message that resonated with many voters.

Of course, that was before Sen. Clean Cut got caught sneaking out of his mistress's hotel room, by the National Enquirer no less. Yes, the same publication that unearthed Gennifer Flowers in the early days of Bill Clinton's first presidential campaign. Obviously, one politician survived his scandal quite headily while the other hasn't been heard from since.

But Sen. Edwards was onto something, although not in the way he intended. There are indeed "two Americas" emerging.

In a time of economic upheaval not experienced for seven decades, jobs are dropping like flies and people's investment accounts are shrinking with heart-dropping speed. No one feels safe from the layoff axe - unless they work for the government, that is.

Faced with a $5+billion budget deficit, Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle announced that he has no plans to lay off or furlough state workers. Huh? Any economics simpleton knows that personnel costs are the biggest part of any business or government operating budget. Cutting personnel is the quickest way to reduce expenses. That's why businesses are shedding jobs left and right as they react to reduced income from a stalled economy.

State government, though, is not run anything like a business, as the Governor's proclamation once again illustrates. Unless jobs are reduced, the state budget deficit can only be eliminated by wholesale program cuts or tax increases. You get one guess as to which the Democratic governor will choose. He has shown his priorities, and top among them is protecting state employees.

The "two Americas," in case you haven't figured it out by now, is very simple: Those who work in the public sector and the rest of us. The first group has unparalleled job security, gold-plated benefits and - you thought these were extinct? - pensions! Oh, and did I mention that often they can retire as early as 50?

The rest of us? We get job security fears, ever-increasing benefit costs and retirement plans that we have to pay for. The balance in those retirement accounts ain't what it used to be, either.

Need more? The Elmbrook School District really bit the bullet recently. Wow. Such courage. It agreed to a two-year contract with its administrators that will increase the employees' share of health and dental insurance premiums from 3 to 5 percent! Oh my heavens! How ever will the employees afford this? And this is if they participate in a wellness program. If they don't partake of the program they have to pay - are you sitting down? - 10 percent of the premiums! The horror of it all!

The sarcasm is intended. Here's where it gets worse - the administrators also got a 4.1 percent salary increase! On average, that's an additional $3,500 a year!

I know what you're thinking: Where do I sign up? Because at a time when many private sector workers are getting minimal (if any) raises, these public employees keep cashing bigger paychecks. Yes, maybe they are paying slightly higher benefit costs, but don't forget that health insurance premium shares are usually pre-tax paycheck reductions, limiting their impact on net pay. In the case of the Elmbrook administrators, they likely broke even if not came out ahead financially.

If it all seems a bit galling, that's only because it is. Obviously employees are needed to run government operations - that's not the issue. There are many hard-working public-sector employees who earn an honest living.

But their pay and benefit packages are ultimately approved by elected officials. So at a time when so many workers are suffering financially, is it too much to expect our "leaders" to ask this segment of the working public to make a sacrifice? After all, they're paid from taxes, which are an unavoidable financial drain on every working citizen!

Don't hold your breath for it to happen. Government employment is an insular operation usually protected by unions, job rules and politicians that want the employees' votes.

Don't believe me? Check out how many of the approximately 67,000 state workers are represented by AFSCME, the biggest public employees union. Any doubt that Gov. Doyle wants to stay on their good side?

But then again, we know which of the "two Americas" he lives in.

What price love (for a dog)?

At a time when everybody seems to be scraping to save money, and nobody walks past a quarter lying on the ground, we bring you a (sort of) related story from the animal kingdom (thank you, Bobby).

A family in Naperville, Ill., is preparing to spend $25,000 to treat its sick golden retriever. It's a very sad story and anyone who has ever had a beloved pet can relate. This dog isn't just sick, though - it has stage four lymphoma (cancer), a diagnosis that would stun into submission any human who received it. Maybe being a dog has its advantages.

The treatment involves stem cells, a flash point for some treatments bestowed upon people. But don't worry - there's no aborted dogs or other creatures involved. Put down the picket signs. The process involves taking healthy cells from the animal and returning them to its body after radiation treatment.

But the tab - possibly $25,000? Wow. Given the present economic climate, it's almost hard to believe anyone has that kind of money lying around, not to mention ready to spend on veterinary care (sorry if I sound like someone who's watched too many dire economic reports on MSNBC).

Ironically enough, one bit of fallout from the recession has been more and more people giving up their pets at shelters because they couldn't afford them anymore. And these are the lucky animals - at least they might be adopted by someone else. What about the ones whose owners just drop them off in the middle of nowhere and drive away? Irresponsibility and selfishness know no bounds.

Back to the Naperville dog. I completely understand how the pet's owners feel. Pets are wonderful because they give love unconditionally and without fail. It doesn't matter if you have a goiter the size of a watermelon - a pet will still think you're the most beautiful being in the world.

I can relate (a bit) to the Naperville family. My former cat, Sinbad, developed health problems late in life and I spent a LOT of money on him. But he was my best friend, and I loved him dearly, so it was worth it. I knew he wouldn't be around forever. When the time came I made the decision, and on that final day Nancy and I stroked him, wished him goodbye, told him we loved him and nodded to the vet to do what had to be done.

Obviously the Naperville family isn't ready for that. If they can afford the treatment, all the more power to them. If you consider it in a cold accountant-type fashion, the cost-benefit analysis surely doesn't work - the dog is 7 years old, and golden retrievers rarely live past 12. But this is a decision based purely on emotion, not logic.

Perhaps some observers would bemoan the family's decision, saying they should donate the money instead to a charity that provides medical care for people. I don't agree. It's their money, they earned it, they can spend it as they like. If it's on veterinary care, that's their decision.

One closing thought supersedes all: That's one darned lucky dog.

Eight is more than enough

The topic of the "Octomom" in California is just too juicy to pass up. It's almost as if this whole situation arose just to provide fodder for online commentators. It's the proverbial slow pitch right over the middle of the plate, just ready to be hit out of the park.

For anyone who might have been living in a cave the past month, the "Octomom" is a 30-something-year-old woman who recently bore eight children. The children were conceived in vitro. The woman has six other children, all under the age of 7. She is divorced and unemployed.

Let the insanity begin!

The only question is, where to start?

A Feb. 17 news report cited a $1.5 million cost so far - paid by California taxpayers - to care for the eight children, all still in the hospital. Given that children of such huge multiple births often have lifelong health issues, we can presume that the public tab will keep growing.

The mother already receives disability and public assistance payments from the state for at least two of her other children. Cha-ching! The public subsidy for her family grows further.

There is no father in the picture. This factor goes well beyond the mere need for many sets of hands (and hearts) to care for 14 children, eight of them infants. The bigger point is, in one fell swoop we have 14 children growing up without a male role model in their lives.

Children deserve to have a father. A male parent brings a whole different set of perceptions, interests and life activities to the table. A father teaches his kids how men conduct themselves in our society and interact with women.

This is not to say that all fathers are sterling examples of malehood. And, it's possible that the Octomom will get remarried down the road. However, speaking as a male, I'll attest that a woman with 14 children doesn't have a lot of appeal in the romance marketplace.

Let's be realistic - is it even remotely possible that a single mother can provide anywhere near the needed attention for each of these 14 kids? Children need a lot of individualized love and caring from a parent. This woman is going to be so overwhelmed that, while the kids might not suffer from what would be termed "neglect," they are likely to grow up remembering that Mom was always too busy to do anything one on one with them.

There's a million other points to be made. What in the world was in the mind of the doctor who implanted eight embryos in this woman? Why did this woman need more children when she already had six? What happens when her parents - who are apparently integral to the child rearing - pass on?

The public cost cannot be underestimated here. The woman insists that she will get a job using her degree in social work - uh, has she checked the pay scale for these type of positions? It's barely enough to support a small family, much less one bigger than the average dog litter. It's only a matter of time before we hear that this family is being fed on food stamps and donations. Oh, and did I mention the rapidly mounting public cost for the kids' health care?

In an interview on NBC, the mother claimed that she and her family will be OK because she will love all the kids so much. Well, in their song "I Got You Babe", Sonny and Cher lyricized "They say our love won't pay the rent, we won't know 'til our money's all been spent." That bit of advice was offered 40 years ago, and it still doesn't work.

Maybe you can't put a price tag on stupidity, but it appears that the Octomom is going to try. Too bad you, me and every other hard-working American will be literally paying for it.